Sunday, September 2018.
I was in my worst feelings. It had been a stressful past couple of weeks. Adjusting to a new environment. Adjusting to the weather. Re-adjusting to a learning environment. Orientation week was quite overwhelming and so was the first week of classes. I felt so un-ready for this chapter of my life.
I was homesick. I was cold. I was unwilling.
But it didn’t matter, at least my new friends didn’t care. They called to remind me of our road trip the next day, courtesy of the UL International Society. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go because I felt really exhausted but they didn’t give me a choice because they insisted.
Sunday morning came. I woke up and I said to myself “this was going to be a pretty horrible day”. I am not one to do what I didn’t want to especially if I didn’t feel like. But like I said earlier, I didn’t have a choice. I got ready with my ‘swollen and gloomy face’ and caught the bus to UL where everyone was meeting up.
Trust that I slept through the journey. After the first stop @Ballyvaughan which had a jaw-dropping scenery. Things were going pretty decent until somehow I missed a step and my leg was stuck for a few minutes. Talk about feeling embarrassed. It was like I was trying to have a good day but the Universe insisted. After I got my leg out, I helped my friends take really nice pictures and I appreciated the moments I captured of them and the scenery but I wasn’t so much willing to take a picture of myself.
After that, we got on the bus again towards the next stop. At this point I felt slightly better, hungry and tired…I was wishing so dearly that I was in the comfort of my bed or my couch with a cup of coffee but I regretted this feeling minutes after. While we drove through, the weather changed, seemed like it was going to rain and I sighed to myself and thought: “once again the Universe at its best.”
When we got to the next stop, after a few steps I could feel it.
Something was different. I have seen and imagined a lot when it comes to nature from movies, pictures and just merely looking at the sky but what I saw actually gave me a feeling. I have never felt in touch with my environment as I walked further and got closer.
Yes, the weather was not friendly as it was windy but I couldn’t help myself. My friends were not sure they wanted to go any further or even up to the cliff cause everyone seemed to be struggling to maintain their balance. Deep down,I wasn’t sure it was a great idea but in that moment I had no control of my legs.
I kept walking and I told my friends to keep up , I mean, we had come this far and we weren’t going to stop now. They did laugh because all day they knew I was in a gloomy mood and all of a sudden I felt energetic.
Yes I was and I wasn’t sure how or why but I felt the rush.
The chill of solitude. The prevailing wind of joy. The wave of tranquility.
Looking down, standing at the edge of the Cliff of Moher, I felt relieved, I felt the peace of mind. I felt the hope.
I knew that this truly was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. It may not be all sun and rainbows but there was this prevalent hope for better days to come.
I knew that I was in the right place. Ireland, a place where just looking out the window at nature would allow your body to relax and your mind to be ease. A place where even in the insanity life throws at you, there is sanity in nature.
As I stood at the edge of the cliff, I said to myself: “I will be back”